A Million More Adventures

Piste 01 · Green · Easy

The facts

Where

Saalbach-Hinterglemm, Austria. One valley, two villages, and the Skicircus — 270 km of connected pistes, which is roughly the distance from Joburg to Bloemfontein, except downhill and with better snacks.

When

Saturday 9 January — Saturday 16 January 2027. Seven nights. You will be terrible for two days, functional by Tuesday, and insufferable by Thursday.

Already handled

Flights
Transfers
A place to sleep — properly good, not luxurious. No people in suits.
Lift pass
Skis, boots, helmet — waiting
A very patient instructor for the first mornings

Your to-do list

Things you need to do: nothing.

Piste 02 · Blue · A conversation

Ski or snowboard?

An impartial decision aid. Take your time. Choose freely.

You're about to say you should snowboard, because you skateboard.

We've thought about this.

No. It is not like skateboarding.

Here is the honest version, presented as propaganda: yes, skateboarders adapt to snowboarding faster. Eventually. But "eventually" is day four. Days one to three of snowboarding are wrists, tailbone, and sitting alone in the snow re-strapping a binding while small Austrian children carve past you in formation.

There are seven days. The objective is enjoying yourself by Tuesday. Skiing gets you there. Your feet point forwards, you can see where you're going, and falling over is optional rather than the curriculum.

Independent comparison (independently produced by this website)
Category	Ski	Snowboard
Day 1	Walking, sliding, mild triumph	Falling. As a lifestyle
Day 2	Turning both ways	Bruised tailbone, bruised ego
Chairlift exits	Dignified	A public event
Flat sections	Poles. Glide. Physics	Hopping like an injured seal
Fun by Tuesday	Yes	Ask again Thursday
Like skateboarding?	Not claimed to be	No. See above

This website has a position. You, obviously, can do whatever you like.

Piste 03 · Red · Advanced

A field guide to après-ski

Après-ski (French: "after skiing"; Austrian: the point of the entire day) is a naturally occurring phenomenon in which several hundred adults in full ski equipment stand on tables at four in the afternoon and sing, with total conviction, in languages they do not speak.

You have never seen it. Nothing you have seen prepares you for it. This section exists so that on day one, at 16:00, you do not call an ambulance.

FIELD NOTE — The species is harmless. Do not be alarmed by the ski boots. Nobody can run at you. This is part of why it works.

15:40Final run of the day. Legs finished. Honour intact.
16:00A bar at the bottom of the slope reaches capacity in four minutes. The music begins. It will not stop.
16:20First man on a table. He is 58. He is wearing a helmet. He is a doctor from Munich and this is the happiest he has been all year.
17:00Everyone now knows every word of every song. Nobody knows what the words mean. This includes the Austrians.
18:30The entire crowd skis home. Downhill. In the dark. This is legal and, weirder, fine.

Crowd of skiers at an après-ski bar in Austria — Fig. 1 — The phenomenon at full intensity, St. Anton. Note: this is a Tuesday.

Après-ski party in Saalbach-Hinterglemm — Fig. 2 — Your actual destination. This is what the valley considers normal.

People dancing on tables at an après-ski bar — Fig. 3 — Table technique. Study the footwork. There is no footwork.

Required listening (pre-departure syllabus)

Anton aus Tirol — DJ Ötzi The national anthem of the genre. You will hear it eleven times a day. By Wednesday you will request it.
Schifoan — Wolfgang Ambros The sacred one. When it plays, arms go around strangers. Comply.

Piste 04 · Black · Binding

10 Rules of ConductA Million More Adventures · In force from 21.08.2026

It happens every year. The only acceptable excuse is medical, and it must be serious.
The next edition should be agreed before the current one ends.
The two of us are non-negotiable. Everyone else is optional.
Never the same place twice. Except Saalbach, which may be revisited once, for sentimental reasons.
Every edition is written up before the flight home. Handwritten, by whoever is more sober.
No work. Not "minimal work". None.
First man down buys the first round.
Destinations are chosen in strict rotation. Edition I was Maree's call, so Edition II is Hennie's. And so on, to Edition 1,000,000.
Any proposal made on the mountain or after 16:00 is approved by default. Doubt and/or safety is not a valid objection.
Neither of us is allowed to already be good at it. Every edition must be something we are both beginners at. Edition I is a grandfathered anomaly and Maree will not shut up about it.

Valid in all territoriesNo appeals process

Piste 05 · Black · Honest answers

The honest FAQ

Will I be good at this?: No.
Will I fall over?: Yes. Publicly.
Is it cold?: Yes.
Does two decades of skateboarding count for anything?: Balance, edge control, and a documented history of getting up again. It will help. From day four. See Piste 02.
Does drinking experience count for anything?: Unusually — yes. Après-ski is the one discipline on this itinerary in which you arrive as a seasoned professional with twenty years of continuous training. It is a genuine competitive advantage and the selectors are aware of it. Do not peak too early. Pace yourself for the 16:00 session. This is the only event where you are expected to medal.
What do I need to organise?: See "The facts". Nothing. It's handled.
What if I'm bad at it on the last day too?: Then you were bad at it in Austria, with your brother, at altitude, with a beer waiting. There is no version of this week that fails.

You've spent forty years carrying things for other people. Quietly, without being asked, mostly without anyone noticing. We noticed.

This one is carried for you, and many more to come. The only thing you have to bring up that mountain is yourself.

— Maree

You are 40. That's about a hundred years to go — realistically forty of them with functioning knees. Which is why we need to talk about January.

You're going skiing.